I don't owe you my heart
And I don't owe you my body
But you should know that I'm sorry
For being careless with you
Lord knows I owed you more
Than I'm pretty sure I ever could give anybody
But I can't pin down what normal people want from foreign objects
Bottom shelf erotic products, like me
So, I could hold your hand to keep you at arm's length
Oh, hang me from a branch too high to climb and shake
Less rare, than scarce
Less diamond, than rough
Unlikely to be more than just the coal you fail to crush and
I swear
I'm really trying
Get it together, Will, know and do better
It just don't come natural to me
To think that you'd want me for me
I swear
I'm really trying
Oh, I'm sorry, I promise I'm doing my best
I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet
I still don't know who you are
I only know that I'm still lonely
That morbid sort where even company can't cure me, and the more you reassure, the less I trust
But still you gave me your heart
I only gave you my body
Honestly thought nobody'd want it, let alone notice it's gone
And so I left it home but now
Now, now, now
I keep a locket with a picture of the back of my head, Oh
Monkey wrench my side view mirrors, ghost my friends
I've lived more lives than enough
I haven't died quite as much
But I'm not a real person, just the shit you can't make up and
I swear
I'm really trying
I'm just as exposed if I take off my clothes
When we make the closest thing to love that I'm capable of and
I don't know why you would care
But I'm really trying
Oh, I'm sorry, I promise I'm doing my best
I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet
Do I really have any of that gravity? Maybe you're quicksand
Because I really couldn't tell how deep my footprints went
The vertex of my redemption arc
The searching of that virgin heart
I'm catatonic in your arms
Cried "How did I cause so much harm?"
I'm down pounding my head
Against the kitchen floor
Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours
Don't say "I'm sorry, but this can't go on"
I know you've got scars of your own
But hide my knives before you go
I'd either live or die alone
I swear
I will die trying
I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress
I promise I honestly want to prove improvement's possible
I swear
I'm so fucking sorry
I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all
But some day I'll be perfect and I'll make up for it all
(And write a fucking SONG about it, 'cause it has to be ALL about Will's FUCKING drama, GOD DAMN IT!)
(Sorry.)
(Fuck, I'm sorry.)
This song kind of continues from Water The Roses insofar as it referencing failed relationships. It's also a nice subtle start from the big ending of the previous song, and it builds up really nicely over the course of it.
Anyway, most will wood songs have this kind of vibe. They don't all sound like this (this one sounds most like ABBA, to me), but they all have this evocative lyrical style. "In case I make it," is an album Will Wood had funded through indiegogo with the original title being "In case I die" (which later was reused as the name of a live album), he has described the album as a "musical suicide note" and has gone on record saying that he will take an indefinete break from making music after it came out. The lyrics take on a bit of a different tone with that in mind.